Perseverance Through Turmoil: My Journey with Whirlpool and Mental Health
I'd like to share my personal journey, which involves an immensely helpful online platform known as Whirlpool. This isn't the company that manufactures appliances – instead, I'm referring to www.whirlpool.net.au, which has been operating for two decades.
I became a member of Whirlpool after Simon officially allowed user accounts. The website was an enjoyable and informative space, filled with supportive people. We were transitioning from 500MB of data to 3G of unlimited data with limited speed on our new cable modems. Those days were filled with sharing tips and insights, and discussing the heartbeat. After losing my job in the dot-com crash, I began working at the University of Queensland.
However, I experienced the first of several mental breakdowns over the next 20 years. After working 120 hours in one week to ensure the smooth launch of the Blackboard teaching system, I faced work-related issues, ultimately losing my job, my wife, my house, and most of my savings.
During this period, I created an incognito Whirlpool account. While struggling with severe mental illness and lacking support, I tried to maintain some semblance of normalcy. My behavior on Whirlpool wasn't ideal, but I did my best. I eventually found a job at QBD The Bookshop in 2008, but my mental health issues resurfaced, and I lost my job after the passing of my father.
In response, I changed my username to "In the Penalty Box" to reflect the time I spent in that status on Whirlpool and left my previous identity behind.
Seeking a fresh start, I created a new account without the baggage of my past. I was constantly suicidal, without help, and isolated. Mental health professionals were unsure of how to assist me.
In May 2010, I found the best job I've ever had writing point of sale software. Despite having a great job, I continued to struggle with mental health issues, and my behavior on Whirlpool caused problems for the moderators.
After enduring an incredibly challenging and stressful time with Telstra, I reached a breaking point in 2016. I lost my rental property and nearly took my own life, but was stopped by the police after someone noticed a farewell post on Twitter.
In October 2017, when the NBN arrived in my area, I created a new account as "The POS Dude." I decided to be authentic, identifying myself through my occupation. I had been working in point of sale for seven years and planned to continue for the rest of my life.
Even today, I am broken, isolated, and suicidal. Logging into Whirlpool causes panic attacks, as I fear being banned. I've been diagnosed with Severe Autism Spectrum Disorder (Alexithymia) and Extreme Anxiety Disorder. I am almost completely housebound, unable to seek emergency medical help if needed. A psychologist has been working tirelessly to help me access NDIS support, but COVID-19 has hindered progress.
I still cause issues for Whirlpool moderators, but I can't do any better. I want to express my gratitude to Simon for creating this community 20 years ago – without Whirlpool, I would have no place to discuss my interests and would be completely lost. I apologize for the challenges I've caused the moderators over the years, and I sincerely owe my life to this community.
